Titus 2 Wife


Hi everyone,

Since Moe said it was O.K. to keep discussing, I will add to what she says only because I think this is crucial to our calling as godly women. I will try to keep it short which is very hard for me! My family teases me about sending out novels instead of letters.

Five years ago, I was doing exactly what Moe described. I tend to plunge head first into projects and found myself trying to "achieve" or "prove" how great a mother and wife I was to the Lord in the sense that I felt compelled to be the most old-fashioned, the most modest, the most strict with my children etc. I hope you get what I mean. I am a highly competitive person and in college I was trained to be that way. The Best. I was always winning awards and scholarships to the point where I had full tuition paid for four years at a private college. Then BOOM! I turn my attentions toward being a Titus 2 woman and try to "conquer" it the same way. HA! There are no award banquets; and very little praise from the world is given in this life. (DH is the greatest fan but my mind was not yet tuned to the idea that HE and the Lord were who I was to please.) We, for the most part, mothers and daughters have a hidden life of quiet victory that will not show most of its fruit until the children are grown and being arrows "speaking with the enemies in the gates."

I was making homemade mayonnaise and the house was a disaster. I was trying to teach my Kindergartener everything in one day and he was crying. I wanted perfect children so bad that if they misbehaved, I took it personally. I wanted to be so old-fashioned and frugal, that we didn't get garbage pick up and tried to recycle, burn, and compost instead. The yard was a hillbilly pig sty and black smoke from the strange things we burned in the burn barrel could have killed the nice old lady who lived next door! I would not listen to my husband's gentle advice to WAIT on all these things until I got the house under control. I thought somehow it was "compromising" or something to use disposable diapers, to eat store bought bread, and meanwhile I was completely overwhelmed because I could not meet this idealistic standard in my head for the Proverbs 31 woman.

I still get these wild hares every once in a while, but I have started paying attention to my husband's ideas of what he wants his Titus 2 wife to be like instead of MY whims. THAT is what submission for daughters and wives is really about. We are there to help our men be successful for the Lord. They cannot earn a living and work for the Lord if their wives are falling apart and their daughters don't help. Our merit with the Lord is through Christ alone. I have learned that if keeping the house orderly and the children under control and happy means I must buy bread and put some of MY own projects on hold for a while, it's o.k. Keeping my husband happy is my Number One priority after pleasing my Lord. I was being pietistic by claiming all MY pursuits were for the Lord by being a Titus 2 and not listening to my husband's requests.

I just want to encourage any moms or daughters who may find themselves in that same distracted pit. One thing at a time. My DH says a clean and orderly house is very romantic! I still think that's kind of weird, but hey, he's the boss! :) Love from a Wonder bread eatin', disposable diaper usin' sister in training, Mandy in IL


What a wonderful post, Mandy! Your description of your backyard burn barrel gave me a chuckle which I badly needed this morning! And funny you should mention the romantic home... I've been cleaning and sprucing up the master bedroom this morning, fresh sheets and scented candles, clean curtains, a major dusting.... I tend to neglect our private space, one of the most important rooms in the home!

Speaking from someone who is 44 and whose youngest is 12, I am having the time of my life learning new homemaking skills that I did not have time for 10 years ago. I have been able to pick up gardening and canning and bread making and cooking from scratch only because I have more discretionary time at my hands after the schooling is done and the house in order. I couldn't imagine trying to learn all these things with very young children, and now my girls are old enough to learn them with me! I think God will lead us to those things he wants us to add to our homemaking repertoire one at a time, and our husbands' preferences should be a very good guide.